WHAT THE INCARNATION TEACHES US ABOUT HEALTHY MINISTRY CULTURE

Many leaders pour themselves out during Advent—often to the point of exhaustion—because of the subtle but powerful belief that Christmas, church, and leadership must be flawless.

But what if our cultural obsession with perfection is not only unrealistic—it’s spiritually damaging to leaders and the church?

And what if the very first Christmas offers a corrective that could reshape the health of our ministries?

The myth of the “perfect Christmas” forms in our imaginations, and chasing perfection damages church health. But leaders can cultivate a culture grounded not in image-management, but in surrender to God’s presence in imperfection.

1. How Myths Shape Ministry Culture

In the 60’s and 70’s, there was a Halloween “tainted candy” panic. Parents were convinced that strangers were lacing candy with poison or putting razor blades in apples. Sociologists Joel Best and Gerald Horiuchi (1985) conducted an extensive review of every reported case from 1958 onward and found zero confirmed cases of strangers killing or seriously injuring children with tampered candy. It was a cultural myth that shaped behavior.

This phenomenon is not unique. Chip and Dan Heath (2007), in Made to Stick, argue that ideas—whether true or false—spread when they are emotionally compelling, simple, and repeated. Myths gain traction not because they’re accurate, but because they’re memorable.

This is relevant for church leaders because congregations often form “sticky” narratives about what ministry should look like. For example:

• Bigger attendance = spiritual success

• Holiday services must be flawless

• A healthy church is one without conflict

• Leaders must always be strong, composed, and certain

None of these narratives are biblical, but all of them are powerful.

If left unchallenged, these lies shape unhealthy expectations that slowly erode the soul of a church.

2. Perfectionism Is a Church-Health Liability

Research in organizational psychology has repeatedly shown that perfectionism is correlated with burnout, anxiety, low resilience, and decreased creativity (Curran & Hill, 2019). Ministry leaders are especially vulnerable because their work is emotional, relational, and publicly visible.

Church ministries also develop organizational perfectionism—a culture where mistakes are feared, image is tightly managed, and success is defined by external metrics rather than faithfulness to Jesus. I think of this as the ministry equivalent of the “perfect Christmas photo”—a carefully curated image that hides chaos behind the scenes.

Studies show that perfectionistic cultures:

• reduce psychological safety

• inhibit healthy innovation

• encourage leaders to hide weaknesses

• create fear-based environments

• ultimately lower trust and spiritual vitality (Edmondson, 2019)

Perfectionism, at its core, is not a devotion to excellence. It is control. It is a spirit of fear and anxiety baptized in the language of responsibility. Spiritually, it reflects a subtle belief that everything depends on us.

This is why perfectionistic ministry cultures burn out leaders, volunteers, and congregations.

3. The First Christmas Was Not Perfect—And That’s the Point

Luke 2 gives us a profoundly honest picture of Jesus’ birth. Stripped of sentimentality, it is the story of two marginalized people, a teenage girl and her fiancé, navigating:

• an unplanned pregnancy

• social stigma

• forced migration due to Roman policy

• harsh travel conditions

• overcrowded housing

• a birth in a feeding trough (a sign of poverty)

Nothing went according to their expectations.

Historian and biblical scholar Joel Green notes that Luke emphasizes the lowliness and vulnerability of Jesus’ entrance into the world as a deliberate theological choice. God enters not through the powerful or pristine, but through the disrupted, chaotic, and overlooked spaces of life (Green, 1997).

The incarnation is God’s declaration that He works redemptively inside imperfect circumstances—not outside them.

Christmas is not about creating a perfect scene.

It is about God entering an imperfect world.

For church leaders, this is more than inspirational. It is a model for how God builds His kingdom—not through flawless execution, but through humble surrender.

4. Jesus Models the Kind of Leadership Churches Need Most

Paul’s Christ-hymn in Philippians 2 reminds us:

• Jesus entered our imperfection (v. 7)

• He did so with humility (vv. 6–8)

• He will return with authority (vv. 9–11)

Healthy ministry cultures flourish when leaders embody what Jesus embodied:

• Humility rather than image-management

• Vulnerability rather than curated strength

• Presence rather than performance

• Faithfulness rather than perfection

Organizational leadership research consistently affirms this: humble leaders create healthier, more resilient teams (Owens & Hekman, 2016). Humility predicts increased trust, stronger collaboration, and better long-term performance.

In other words, Jesus’ model of leadership isn’t just spiritually true. It is organizationally effective.

5. Our Ache for Perfect

Ecclesiastes reminds us that God has “set eternity in the human heart” (Eccl. 3:11). This means our longing for what is whole, beautiful, and unbroken is not wrong. It’s just misplaced when we try to engineer it ourselves.

Churches often slip into perfectionism because we’re trying to manufacture what only Jesus’ return can accomplish.

Perfection now is the wrong expectation.

Faithful presence now is the right expectation.

This reframing can free ministry teams from the crushing weight of false expectations.

What Healthy Churches Do Differently During Christmas (and All Year)

Here are four practices your church can adopt to resist perfectionism and cultivate health:

1. Create a culture where failure is safe

Celebrate experimentation. Normalize mistakes. Ask reflective questions instead of assigning blame.

2. Prioritize presence over production

Evaluate your Christmas calendar through the lens of spiritual formation, not impressiveness.

3. Model vulnerability from the top

When pastors admit their humanity, others feel permission to as well.

4. Focus on surrendered leadership, not flawless leadership

Leaders who imitate Jesus’ humility create churches shaped by grace, not pressure.

a Perfect Image vs a Surrendered Life

Your life does not need to be perfect.
Your ministry does not need to be perfect.
Your Christmas services do not need to be perfect.

They simply need to be surrendered.

Because Jesus does not wait for perfect conditions to enter our stories—He comes right into the middle of exhaustion, frustration, rejection, and unmet expectations.

When churches embrace this posture, they become healthier, more joyful communities—places where people meet the real Jesus rather than a curated image.

And that, ultimately, is what Advent invites us into.

Grace & Peace,

Mike

References

Best, J., & Horiuchi, G. (1985). The razor blade in the apple: The social construction of urban legends. Social Problems, 32(5), 488–499.

Brown, R. E. (1993). The birth of the Messiah: A commentary on the infancy narratives in Matthew and Luke (Updated ed.). Doubleday.

Curran, T., & Hill, A. P. (2019). Perfectionism is increasing over time: A meta-analysis of birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016. Psychological Bulletin, 145(4), 410–429.

Edmondson, A. (2019). The fearless organization: Creating psychological safety in the workplace for learning, innovation, and growth. Wiley.

Green, J. B. (1997). The Gospel of Luke (NICNT). Eerdmans.

Heath, C., & Heath, D. (2007). Made to stick: Why some ideas survive and others die. Random House.

Owens, B. P., & Hekman, D. R. (2016). How does leader humility influence team performance? Exploring the mechanisms of contagion and collective promotion focus. Academy of Management Journal, 59(3), 1088–1111.